You find yourself on a date and think it went well, but eventually, you get that dreaded text, "I think you are a great guy…" and you already know what will follow is not what you want to read—unless you already knew it was not a good match.

If you received that text, there are many reasons for it. I listed the 8 main ones.

1) NOT LEAVING A MARK AND HER COMPETITION

You may think she is only talking to you because you don't necessarily have that abundance of options she has from the apps. This is not to discount how many guys are currently in her orbit (FWBs, Orbiters, Male Friends…). Surface-level interactions are not going to cut it. She needs to feel moved. Looking for commonalities, for example, is one of the go-to things many guys will go for, but it is not strong enough and has a high chance of coming across as a rapport-seeking frame, aka needy of her approval.

So you may have screwed up, but it is not always entirely your fault. Regarding these experience daters, the more original you are in your approach, the more likely you will leave a mark.

2) PLAYING TOO SAFE

Many guys will avoid rocking the boat and losing as it is one of their very few dates. They will already be in the frame to qualify to the girl, looking at ways to create rapport at every opportunity. They miss the chance to show dissension because they fear losing the girl. They are missing that for the rapport to mean something, they must show that they can't agree with her on everything (even if it is genuine). However, nuance is required. Some things will be dealbreakers that are essential to bear in mind, especially with strong agenda-driven women.

Also, I found that, in general, the hottest girls will give you less margin for error (not always; it depends on how light her agenda is and how much she likes you).

3) PAST EXPERIENCE

Another thing that is not talked about enough is that the most experienced daters will have a much higher threshold of what you need to do to leave a mark because she has seen it all. She has many reference points, and you will be only one amongst many if you are not different and own it. In a landscape where it is unlikely you will be the best due to the impact of quantity, it is crucial to be different to intrigue her.

She most likely got a much better experience in the past that you did not match.

4) BAD TIMING

Her ex may have come back

She did not entertain the date in good faith; she was bored and wanted some entertainment, and you were just there.

She is distracted. Many girls have so many things going on in their lives; between their travels, work, friends or whatever BS, finding a guy is not part of their priority. This is not a cope, but this links up with point 3) where this acts as even more of a burden on you to lift by making it memorable to her.
Never underestimate the impact of the environment and how some dumb factor that either her friend, TikTok or whatever dumb influence of the moment she adopts will make her think that something is a ick.

5) YOU DID NOT MAXIMISE THE VENUE AND LOGISTICS

Make sure you choose the right venue (Ambiance, Set-up). It is much better to sit side by side than face to face. It increases complicity compared to an interview set-up. Even though you are, essentially, both interviewing one another, the perception must not appear as such. Seduction is about appearing not purposeful whilst being purposeful. You want to create an "us" frame where she can join your world, not one where it is a battle between your world and hers. It is also key when it comes to physical escalation.

Make sure you have a second venue close to the first one. Switching venues creates the impression in her that you have known each other for a more extended period than you do. It is also good to see whether she complies with your leadership.

6) YOU DID NOT LEAD THE DATE

Guys are worried about choosing the right venue even before the date because it might not suit the woman's taste. If there is something women hate, it is indecisive men. Delegating that responsibility to her will even more negatively impact your chances than being so desperate that she will like the place you take her to. Newsflash: If she likes you enough, the place you suggest won't matter, so carry the interaction to where you want to go. If she does not, you save yourself time and money.

If you don't lead, you sub-communicate that you are a follower, and she does not want a follower as she is one.

7) YOU SHOWED TOO MUCH NEEDINESS OR APPROVAL SEEKING

You want the date to work more than she does. It is counter-intuitive, but for her to feel something, she must have her emotions going from one extreme to the other:
Does he like me, or does he not like me?
Most guys will make her feel like "He likes me". Another thing he will do is overly qualify himself to show he has what it takes (job, money, cars…)—placing her as the judge of value. A female friend of mine who likes flirting with me for the fun of it asked me recently: "Do you think you are the prey or the predator?" most guys failed the test by answering one of the two options, validating the frame she sets for him as her being the judge. I replied: "What do you think?" By putting it back on her, I showed I could care less about appearing a certain way to her and that she was free to make a judgment on her own. She later told me the only guy she took on a second date (she is very selective and intelligent) replied: "What would you prefer me to be?". Do you see how your accomplishments can hold you back when communicating your value? So, avoid that.

8) YOU DID NOT PHYSICALLY ESCALATE

This is one where there will be controversy, as other content creators or dating coaches will tell you not to do it. You must physically escalate on a date when appropriate. If there is little sexual vibe in the date, you are cucking yourself. The reason why people advise against this is these guys are so afraid of appearing thirsty that they will let female judgment decide their manhood. Once you mix it with platonic conversations that lead to nowhere, it creates this nice guy vibe that is fine on the surface but is intrinsically dull. Motions create emotions, and words only go so far.

It also can help compensate for a lack of sexual innuendos and taking verbal risks as it shows you take leadership. The other reason is that many girls will take this as a soft rejection, not trying to move things forward. You have more chances of not hearing back from her because you did not make a move than making one and being stopped. One shows you are willing to take risks and the other shows you are a scared cat.

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