A lot of women have abandonment issues either from deeply rooted childhood issues or learned behaviour from having been left by other men, which translate into the following:

When you get close to her, she will feel suffocated. She will need to find something wrong with you so you don’t get too close, even if she wants you to. Part of her will want you to get close.

Part of her does not want you to get close because it will show her vulnerability, and vulnerability to her will mean getting exposed. She fears that when you really get to know her, you may abandon her, so she will try to find a way for her to abandon you before you leave her.

Women will make relationships complicated based on their baggage and trauma. We men are more straightforward, so when things don’t work out, it is more likely on her than on you.

Her self-sabotage will obviously get passed onto you (accountability, eh?), and they will tell you to get therapy or call you hurt and bitter.

It is a projection with her, when men have learnt to process information through mistakes and act on it based on our no-bailout-allowed life experience.

If you want to use the dynamic to your benefit, this is how you will have to deal with her:

She thinks her unresolved fear of abandonment is strength and your openness for sharing feelings is neediness.

Her insecurity drives her to think of you as everything she is when you are the opposite of what she claims.

Don’t doubt yourself if you are dealing with a girl like that.

Giving her good dick and being distant in the meantime will have her running after you because you are not reassuring her that you are not going to leave her and she will seek that reassurance.

She will then want you to do most of the work when she likes you enough or you managed to make her invested in you through small tasks you make her do for those who are not too controlling freaks. For the ones who are, it is about giving her that rollercoaster of emotions between strong validation and punishment.

That back and forth will create the attachment on her end. She will do most of the work.

Just make sure you give her crumbs.

You can try to have her address her issues rationally. Good luck, as that will take some time. You may have worked to the benefit of someone else, but most likely, it will have a half-life, and she will go back to the default mode.

These are the 10 reasons why:

1 - They create their own Anxiety and Insecurity. You won't do anything to make them think you will leave or lose interest. Still, they will always question the nature of the relationship unless you constantly provide over-the-top validation, and even then...

2 - They are hypersensitive to dynamic changes and make everything about themselves as they think your life should revolve upon lightening their self-made anxiety. They shift fast from attachment to distress.

3- They can't fashion the idea of being alone. Therefore, they seek a partner to act against angst, who must also reassure them constantly on the commitment and love front. They have a hypersensitivity to rejection.

4 - What you may think is genuine desire through clinginess and neediness is deep insecurity. As a doctor, you must remain physically and emotionally close to the patient to support and validate them emotionally.

5 - They will overcompensate by trying too hard to please their partner at the expense of their long-term self-interest. Jealousy and Possessiveness are also part of the mix, where you will be on 24/7 CCTV, as disloyalty is always suspected, regardless of your character.

6 - They will self-sabotage the relationship by conducting commitment tests, creating conflicts, or manufacturing withdrawal to see if you will chase them. They will even corner you in impossible situations, where anxiety gets the better of the respect you should expect of them.

7 - When you are busy or have other priorities, they will interpret your neutral actions as disinterest or your lack of availability as emotional distance because they project their emotional needs onto you and create a stressful situation because of their lack of empathy.

8 - They will future pace a break-up through the dread they create for themselves without objective evidence that such a situation is impending, not to mention their trust issues. Your reassurances won't mean much because their past dictates their behaviour, not you.

9 - This is a product of past traumas that fostered low self-esteem in them, empowered by intermittent caregiving and lacking parental love; when it is not neglect, they end up believing they are not worth it, and people who try to prove them wrong get punished.

10 - If you have a saviour complex or are empathetic, you may have fallen for this type of individual, and what you construed as a connection was a self-serving effort on your partner's part to use you as Xanax. Therefore, you can only blame yourself for not seeing it earlier.

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